Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ever met a Zombie Client... straight outta Hell?

Clients come in all shapes and sizes. There are the cool, collected, smart tech-savvy sorts. And then there are 'Zombies' - the diabolically demanding, clinically clingy, painfully possessive and awfully anal sorts.

Ask anyone who's ever dealt with clients esp. in the creative field and they'll speak of nightmarish ordeals with zombies crazed about typeface, obsessed over logo size, possessed with ridiculous ideas, fixated on one or a choice of colours... 

Check out these horror stories from around the world:

  • "Here is some hair I cut off of my poodle. Make my fabric match my poodle."

  • "Your hourly rate is okay, as long as you don’t need more than an hour. And you can show me how you did it so I can do it on my own next time." 

  • "I don't care if it loses 90% of visitors, we cant have a skip on the website intro, we paid a lot of money for that and everybody has to see it."

  • "I need to get moving on this. I'm sure you can do some work on your vacation. That’s a long vacation, I bet you’ll get bored anyway, and this is back-and-forth via email, not phone, so it shouldn’t cause you any stress..."

  • "I like how the poster looks, the illustration, the font, everything, but….can you do it again but better?" 

  • Client: “I have a great idea, and I’d like to bring you on board as a partner.
    Me: “Go on..”
    “It’s great.  I want to recreate Google, but make it better.
    “Well that’s where your expertise comes in.”

  • "Can you show Joanne [client’s secretary] how you designed our business cards. I don’t want to pay you for doing them."

Maybe you too can share your Zombie story and relieve your pain.

Mr. Madness would like to thank Jainesh Patel (veteran Zombie survivor) for this post.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Found this inspiring. Hope it helps you too.

written by Robin Sharma, January 3, 2010.

1. Remember that leadership isn't about your position. It's about your influence.

2. Get fit like a pro athlete.

3. Lift people up versus tearing people down.

4. Protect your good name. An impeccable reputation takes a lifetime to build. And 60 seconds to lose.

5. Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

6. Remember that even a 1% daily innovation rate amounts to at least a 100% rate of innovation in 100 days.

7. Believe in your dreams (even when others laugh at them).

8. Measure your success, not by your net worth but by your self worth (and how happy you feel).

9. Take an intelligent risk every 24 hours. No Try-No Win.

10. Read "Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist".

11. Watch "Man on Wire".

12. Regardless of your title at work, be a team builder.

13. Remember that business is all about relationships and human connections.

14. Say "please" more.

15. Say "thank you" more.

16. Know your Big 5: the five things that need to happen by the end of this year for you to feel its been your best year yet.

17. Read your Big 5 every morning while the rest of the world is asleep.

18. Read "As You Think". At least twice this year.

19. Be willing to fail. It's the price of greatness.

20. Focus less on making money and more on creating value.

21. Spend less, save more.

22. Leave everything you touch better than you found it.

23. Be the most positive person in every room you're in.

24. Run your own race.

24. Stay true to your deepest values and best ideals.

25. Write a handwritten thank you note to a customer/friend/loved one every day.

26. When you travel, send love letters to your kids on hotel stationary. In time, they'll have a rich collection to remember your travels by.

27. Read "Atlas Shrugged".

28. Be a problem solver versus a trouble maker.

29. Rather than doing many things at mediocrity do just a few things-but at mastery.

30. Honor your parents.

31. Commit to doing great work-whether anyone notices it or not. It's one of life's best sources of happiness.

32. Give more than you receive (another of the truths of happiness).

33. Have your 1/3/5/10/25 years goals recorded on paper and review them weekly.

34. Be patient. Slow and steady wins the race. The only reason businesses that went from zero to a billion in a year or two get featured in magazines is because 99% of businesses require a lot more time to win.

34. Underpromise and then overdeliver.

35. See part of your job as "a developer of people" (whether you work in the boardroom or the mailroom).

36. Wear your heart on your sleeve. When people see you're real, they'll fall in love with you.

37. Be authentic versus plastic.

38. Read "The Alchemist".

39. Remember that life wants you to win. So get out of your own way.

40. Consider that behind every fear lives your next level of growth (and power).

41. Eat less food.

42. Drink more water.

43. Rest when you need to.

44. Read "SUCCESS" magazine.

45. Write your eulogy and then live your life backwards.

46. Demand the best from yourself.

47. Remember that the more you go to your limits, the more your limits will expand.

48. See everything that happens to you as an opportunity to grow (and therefore, as a precious gift).

49. Be obsessed with learning and self-development.

50. Become comfortable alone (you are the only person you get to be with your whole life).

51. Smile. It's a stunningly effective way to win in business and life.

52. Reflect on the shortness of life.

53. Be bold when it comes to your dreams but gentle with those you love.

54. Remember that success is dangerous because it can kill drive/innovation/passion and going the extra mile. Be successful yet stay hungry.

55. Read "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin".

56. Be of deep value to this world.

57. Own beautiful things but don't let them own you.

58. Use excellent words.

59. Laugh more.

60. Don't complain, gossip or be negative.

61. Plan as if you'll live forever but live as if you'll die tomorrow.

62. Feel free to pass these lessons on to those you want to help.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The HERO... a must-see short film.

The HERO... a must-see short film. It's won 4 Golden Globes this year and is sure to win big at the 2010 Oscars.

Just btw... guess who's starring in it? Click here to view the film. 

To give credit where credit is due, I laud DraftFCB, Stockholm for this brilliant promo and thank my good mate, Captain Zubin (no... he's not an imaginary friend) for sending it to me.

Monday, January 18, 2010

2010 FIFA World Cup Match Schedule & Groups

Double-click on image to view / download hi-res version.
For more match info, team photos & player bios, click here.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

SONY make.believe... Love at first frame

Something instantly likeable about SONY's latest TVC. Got me right from the start. A fine fusion of film-tech and story-telling. Quite love how the audio builds tempo. In short, a classic creative... from the get go.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A college friend makes his Bollywood debut

It's not everyday that a college buddy of yours makes a full length feature film. What's rarer still is one fine day, out of the hazy blue, a preview pops into your Inbox with his name leading the credits and a release date on it:

Chandan Arora is the Producer/ Director of "Striker" and he's roped in some top Bollywood talent. Hope his opening break strikes the sweet spot at the box office.

Oye Chandan... take it away mate. Hats off and very well done.
Wish you and your unit a 'boric powder' smooth & successful 2010.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I declare 2010 open. Let the madness begin...

Hello all... Happy New 2010.
Let's begin the new decade with a bit of a chuckle.

Now we all know why Xmas is called the silly season. But some goofy goons take that too seriously. Here's a case of epic stupidity I spotted:

"Avoiding police is easier if you don't fall asleep on the horn of a stolen car at 1am and wake up an entire street.

But that is exactly what one burglar did on Boxing Day, making him a late contender for the "stupidest crim of the decade" awards. The man was arrested after residents on Whitney St, Blockhouse Bay, were woken by the sound of a horn blasting from a Pajero 4WD.

"I heard all this noise," said one man. "This guy looked stoned out of his mind and he was asleep on the horn. He woke the entire neighbourhood and seemed too spaced out to know what was going on.

And if you thought that's a gone case, check out this global gonzo:

An underwear bomber from Nigeria,
Passed all airport security criteria,
But his evil plans were no big deal,
Guess what he got for in-flight meal?
A sauteed sausage & terminal diarrhoea.