Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Go Tiger... go get 'em!

Tiger Woods has taken a hiatus from golf. But he leaves us a legacy of mirth and merriment. And for that, I salute him and crack a few:

Can you really blame Tiger for what happened? From a very young age, every time he got his rod out in public, people cheered.

Not just that, they’d get him to autograph their balls and would even touch his rod. And whenever he’d hole one, they'd clap and egg him on to another hole. So then, who’s really to blame?

Just so you know, I don’t blame Tiger for what he did. I blame the guys at Nike. They kept going Just do it. Just do it. So he did it. And did it.

Uh-oh… we have to interrupt blogcast for a live update. Word's just in... Tiger Woods’ WTS (Women Tiger Shafted) tally has gone up to 15 birdies! Little wonder then, he's been named Athlete of the Decade. Sorry about that blogoitus interruptus. Back to where we were…

Just the other day, we asked his Coach what went wrong with Tiger. He had this to say ‘Tiger is a very driven player. He tried to get a birdie aka hole-in-one every time he played. Every morning, Tiger would wake up at 5am to work on his drive. Now we know he was working on his sex drive!’

We also know Tiger’s wife bludgeoned his SUV with a golfing iron. His fans are thanking the heavens he's not a baseball player.

Apparently, Steve Williams, Tiger’s caddy for 10 years, has recently been competing in saloon car racing. Good call, Stevo.

Why did Tiger do waitresses and porn stars? Well… they must've been good. After all, he uses Gillette - the best a man can get.

Speaking of which, did you hear about the blockbluster the Chinese are making on Tiger Woods: Crouching Tiger Hidden Pussy.

Actually, the media should’ve seen the whole thing coming. It’s all there in his name. Tiger… tigers like to hunt. Woods… the perfect setting for hunting. Put the two together and... go Tiger, go get 'em!

Got any fresh Tiger Woods jokes? Send them in and I’ll add them here.